Rain Watching

Wasted time, watching the rain fall like my tears once did.

Missing your touch, your breath, the warmth of your body, your heart, your soul next to mine.

I watch the rain, and as I trail my fingertips down the cool pane of glass,
I miss the thick, heavy silk of your hair.
How it would slide through my fingers and caress my palms when I ran my hands through it.

I close my eyes and breathe deep.
I can almost catch the intoxicating scent that is wholly you.
That musky mixture of incense, soap, cigarettes and masculinity.

I close my eyes and think only of hands.
Your strong, heavy, beautiful hands.
Caressing my face, resting on my hips...

I am suddenly aware of how cold and empty I feel.

I continue watching the rain fall outside my window.
Standing wrapped in a thin blanket of memories.
Little comfort.
To watch the rain is to gaze into your eyes, light and beautiful in my minds eye...

I miss the laughter, the light touching, the understanding, the pleasure.

I miss looking up at you and seeing the light and shadow of your soul bared to me as you listened to the sounds you brought from my lips.

I miss you so...

I miss having you close and inside me.

I miss you, and as I think of you I hug myself tighter and watch the rain fall like my tears once did... and do now.

A.J. Downey
09-24-1999