Leaving This Perfect Hell Behind

I'm silently drowning, nothing's real, nothing matters or hurts anymore.
It's all going away, that's good.
I'm silently leaving this perfect Hell behind; the waters of sorrow are closing above me.
Crystalline clear, a lake of my own tears
I breathe in deep these waters, all sadness disappears.
Replace by still peace.
Dead peace.

I tried hard for redemption; all I got was rejection.
So I've given up to drown in this lake of my own tears.
Crystalline clear now tinted blue,
Blue from my icewater hearts-blood pumping from my severed veins.
I want to ensure that I die.
I'm silently drowning; nothing matters to me except to succeed.
My last attempt at doing something right.
Dying.

Drowning in waters instead of their rules.
I could never do anything right for them.
I left a letter for my closest friend.
He always understood.

The waters are so cold.
Not for long.
I'll be at peace soon.
I'm silently drowning.
Nothing's real.
Nothing hurts anymore.
Good bye.

A.J. Downey
11-05-1998