Storm

The patter of rain outside is deafening again.
Loud enough that if I try the sound of it drowns out the screaming my heart makes.

I'm tired again.
I'm lost and lonely again.
A few more moments and I'll be drowning again.

I thought I was okay.
That the storm was over but no...
I'd just reached the eye, the illusion, so fragile, of calm.

I'm not sure who threw the rock.
I'm not sure if it was me...
That smooth piece of granite, that cold unyielding stone of truth.

Shattered the image.
Brought my safe little world crashing down on me.

I just want to be left alone in company like myself.
I want that illusion back... but it's gone forever.
Never to return I think.

A.J. Downey
12-01-2000